My recent podcast guest, Chrissy Janiga is a coach, a clinical social worker and an author. “Miranda learns the Art of Not Fitting In”, Chrissy’s first book, is a children’s book but as my guest and I discuss, it has implications into this alcohol-free lifestyle. For me, having a strong sense of belonging helped me with the idea of ‘not fitting in’. I was in a long-term marriage and I believed my friends and family would accept me as an alcohol-free human. For the most part, that proved true. I did have one family member and one close friend who continued to question my decision for a long time. So, how do we navigate this part of our alcohol-free life?
Brené Brown in her book: ‘Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead’ makes an important distinction between just fitting in and truly belonging. She writes: “Fitting in is one of the greatest barriers to belonging. Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be in order to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are. Belonging gives us a sense of security because we feel known and valued. Trying to fit in, on the other hand, makes us feel anxious and constantly on edge because we sense that if we slip up, we’re out.”(p. 231–232)
Chrissy and I chat on the podcast about her children’s book and the application to adult life. I love the idea that we can help our children learn how to appreciate the difference between fitting in and belonging. Perhaps, our children can help us learn to let go of the need to ‘fit in’ by drinking and instead, embrace belonging in a way that feels authentic and powerful!
Chrissy Janiga is an alcohol freedom and mindset coach. Chrissy is a licensed clinical social worker and enjoys writing books in her free time. She has published her first children’s book and will soon publish her second children’s book. She is also working on a non-fiction book for adults, focusing on help with removing alcohol. She is an advocate for mental health awareness and helping children (and adults) dream big!
Join me in the Free Mini-Series, Ignite Your Sober Spark. I’ll be going live next week, Oct. 2 – Oct. 5 and you need to grab a seat to attend live or receive the recorded replays. Come hang out with those of us who have learned the Art of Not Fitting In! Register for your seat HERE