“The way you think will have a profound impact on everything you see, hear, smell, taste, touch. Everything is filtered through your thoughts and your beliefs.”. Kim Ades
If this sounds familiar, it’s because I talk a lot about thoughts and beliefs and how they shape our reality. I had a client recently share this statement: “I know my thoughts don’t create my reality”. I would venture that they in fact do create our reality. They impact the way we trust or don’t trust ourselves. They impact our emotional state and our actions, so they do create our reality. The subtle truth of what my friend shared is this: they don’t have as much control as we think they do. If you have ever heard the statement ‘don’t believe everything you think’, you can probably discern that both things are true: my thoughts create my reality, my reality is more than my thoughts.
My guest on the podcast today, Kim Ades, shared the above quote. Kim has an executive coaching company called Frame of Mind Coaching. I love her philosophy around our frame of mind. Kim shares so many packed moments of inspiration and wisdom in this episode, including:
- Her mission of helping people live with more ease, fulfillment and joy
- How trading up our thoughts creates more alignment
- Her definition of emotional resilience
- Her ‘controversial’ ideas about empathy
- The first step to figuring out the question: “what do I want?”
- Why she is not interested in your “WHY”
Kim also shares a unique process she has created called “The Journal That Talks Back”. This is a process whereby your journal is read and responded to by a trained Frame of Mind Coach. Kim uses this process for young executives to access support as they grow into leaders. I find this unique offer fascinating and Kim and I explore a bit about how to use this process in our AF journey and well beyond alcohol!
In the episode, Kim shares her own journey from being a struggling empath to becoming a compassionate leader. She tells us about her own process and even invites you to a two-step journal prompt to explore this transformation for yourself.
- What do you really, really want, more than anything? There are two ‘really’s for a reason. Think about what you truly want – not what someone else wants for you, not what’s expected of you, not what you think is expected of you. What you truly want, your heart’s desire. Now write it down.
- The next question is, ask yourself, so what’s stopping me from having what I really, really want right now? Write down all those reasons. Those reasons are a reflection of your beliefs.
Kim also shares a powerful exercise she calls ‘the ideal conversation’. Here are her prompts:
- Write an ideal conversation – it can be to anyone you want. Someone alive, someone who’s passed away, someone famous. It can be a childhood friend or a fictitious lover. The conversation can be with anyone, it doesn’t matter. Then write a script, write as if you are having the perfect conversation with this person, it doesn’t have to be long, just an ideal conversation.
- Then, send it to Teri or a trusted mentor or coach. What you will see is that your brain tricks you – it doesn’t allow you to live in this ideal place. Even if you’ve done all the work, the brain still creates limitations. It’s not easy to see where we are limiting ourselves.
