My journey continues beyond learning how to become AF and yours will too.
I think the most striking difference between becoming AF and living AF is the shift in focus and time. I have experienced and witnessed what is possible when alcohol is out of the way.
Time feels different now that I am living alcohol-free. The time I used to spend drinking, thinking about drinking and recovering from drinking is now ‘new time’. And, with a new sense of time, I have been able to explore this next chapter of my life. When I was drinking, time passed with me numbing out and with opportunities missed. Now, time is lived vs. passed. I create experiences vs. avoiding them.
I shared in Part 1 my journey through my first Sober Anniversary. In those first 12 months, so many things shifted for me, but I was still focusing a lot on behavior and those raw emotions. I spent that first year doing a few things that set me up for the next stage – living alcohol-free.
I didn’t have a road map or a guide for my AF journey (boy, do I wish I had!). I think I pushed my way through those first few months with force – I even used some of my anger to fuel my resolve. But, as I moved past year 1, my emotions started to level, and I began to feel excited and peaceful as I settled into my ‘new normal’.
When people ask “how long does it take?” the answer is always the same: it takes as long as it takes. Here are some key learnings from my journey that I believe can accelerate the timeline:
- Find something fun or exciting to do with your extra time. Buy a paddleboard, start a photo project, take a class, go back to school. Having something to look forward to is one of the keys to lasting change. It also helps craft your new identity. I was a wellness enthusiast in my drinking days. After becoming AF, I am a Functional Nutritionist. This is a key identity shift for me.
- Practice self-trust. I know when I was drinking and over-drinking that I lost trust in myself. This turned down my intuition and made it hard to believe that I would follow through, or that I was worthy of trust. I had let myself down a lot for a long time. So, start small – choose one thing to follow through on and then DO IT. And, celebrate! It could be as simple as washing and moisturizing your face every night. It could be calling your mom every week. It might be eating healthy food as you love your body back to health. Each small win will help you trust yourself again. And, as you trust yourself, you will experience that intuition that helps you make the next best choice. It’s a beautiful place!
- Get curious. Curiosity fills two important roles in living AF. One, it allows you to suspend judgment. Imagine using curiosity when you experience discord. Instead of assuming the worst you can simply ask “I wonder what their story is? Is it possible that their reaction has nothing to do with me?”. Try it – you will find so much freedom from judgment. And, the second part of curiosity it that it allows you to explore new passions. I always start with curiosity – what do I want to try? What looks interesting? How can I learn more? And, sometimes this leads to a new passion and sometimes it is a passing fancy. Either way, it makes you come alive!
- Connect with others. It’s been said that the opposite of addiction is connection. Overdrinking is a lonely place – a place where we can get stuck in our own heads and feel isolated and lost. Joining together with other people on this journey is a place of compassion and understanding and often a place of inspiration. Don’t miss the opportunity to share your story and watch people nod in agreement and then offer their own wisdom. If you were like me, someone who thought she could do it all alone, I would share this saying: Alone we can go fast, but together we can go far.
The lessons continue. Just like happiness is a direction, not a destination, living AF is an expansive state of being, not a place where we arrive. If I had stopped at just ‘becoming alcohol-free’, I would have stayed in that place of focusing on my behavior and my emotions. I would have missed the place where I am now, a place where the adventure of life continues to unfold in new and surprising ways. I think one of the saddest things for me is to meet someone who has many years of not drinking, but they have yet to start living. I hope you will embrace the possibility beyond becoming AF. This simple shift of focus can and will change everything.
Cheers to LIVING Alcohol-Free!
Ready for your own adventure with Living Alcohol-Free? Find out more about The SELF Experience!!
